Jokes and Advice of a Fool Jester
03:58 GA: Suddenly, there is an arm around Serios's shoulder as he leaves the Stacks! 03:58 GA: It is a purple arm. 03:58 GA: "hhhey bududo" 03:58 GA: "budude" 03:59 GA: "boodo" 03:59 GG: Serios sighs... "Hello. Limekid... To. What. Do. I. Deserve. This... Honor?" 03:59 GA: "lissen, guy. ive got. this. hic. meguca." 03:59 GA: "hold, on, forget about that." 04:00 GA: They snap a meguca pen in half. 04:00 GA: "never speak of this" 04:00 GG: "I. Can. Not. Forget. About. Something. When. You. Just. Mentioned. It. But. Alright..." 04:00 GA: "juss gonna gohead and assume you dont want a pen from me" 04:01 GA: "whichs' fine" 04:01 GA: "capitalism is a cruel mistress" 04:01 GA: "although i guess this is more of a barter cconomy" 04:02 GG: "You. Assumed. Correctly.... And. Yes. I. Suppose. Everything. Is. Rather. Barter. Based. At. This. Juncture." 04:02 GA: "serios..." They sniff. "do you like me??" 04:03 GG: "...I. Do. Not. Dislike. You... You. Seem. Oddly. Friendly..." 04:03 GA: "eribus hates me :(" 04:04 GA: lissen, looksa thiso" 04:04 GA: They pull their arm away from you and pull out a piece of paper. 04:04 GG: "What. Is. This?" 04:04 GA: It has some words on it, which vaguelly correspond to their utterance of "oneu) your're purmose is to promise COMIS RELISH" 04:05 GA: "am i promideing enough?" 04:05 GA: "*comide relief" 04:05 GG: Serios deadpans... "What. Is. This?" 04:06 GA: The paper does, indeed, say 'your purpose is to provide COMIC RELIEF.' 04:06 GA: It is impossible to tell whether Limekid wrote this themself or not. 04:06 GA: "give it to me straight doctor" 04:08 GG: "I. Am. Not. Certain. I. Quite. Understand... And. I. Think. You. Are. Asking. The. Wrong. Person... I. Do. Not. Do. Comic. Relief... Nor. Have. The. Appreciation. Of. It. That. Others. Have..." 04:08 GA: "thassokay. we love you anyways." 04:08 GA: "serios, i feel like you're the best at being respectable." 04:08 GA: "emeryone love you." 04:09 GG: "That... Is. Perhaps. Among. The. Best. Compliments. I. Have. Received..." 04:10 GA: "your welcome." 04:10 GA: "is the drunk a bad look?" 04:10 GA: "ill put my drunk away. beep bop boop hey im sober whats up boy" 04:10 GA: "anyway" 04:10 GA: "im looking to become a respected member of this community." 04:11 GA: "since i work here, alongside the handmaidens and capn red." 04:11 GG: "Captain. Red?" Serios thinks about this for a moment... 04:11 GA: "libbo!" 04:12 GA: "that wasnt a drunk remark, that was me goofing." 04:12 GG: "Ah. Yes. Of. Course... The. Indirectness. Of. Goofing..." 04:13 GA: "i seem to have made the wrong impression by being honest and stating that i am a horrorterror." 04:13 GA: "which wasn't really what i was expecting, to be frank." 04:13 GG: "Well. To. Be. Honest. The. Current. Impression. Is. Perhaps. Better. Than. If. You. Were. Not. Direct. With. It." 04:14 GA: "yeah but yall would be like" 04:14 GA: "'haha oh its that purple octopus person, how fun'" 04:14 GA: "rather than like" 04:14 GA: "'oh fuck its a horrorterror. everyone stop being nice to them.' 04:14 GA: "i want YOUR thoughts, my fellow purple. how do i show these people that i am an honest, reliable squid." 04:14 GA: "a working man." 04:16 GG: "I. Can. Not. Say. That. I. Know... I. Tried. To. Advise. Another. Once. On. How. To. Show. They. Are. Different. Than. What. Others. Thought. Of. Him. Once. But... Well. I. Believe. You. At. Least. Know. A. Few. Things. About. What. Happened. To. Mr. Aesona..." 04:16 GA: "oh yeah that bad boy" 04:16 GA: "hmm" 04:16 GG: "Yes..." 04:16 GA: "see, now you've given me the impression that your advice sucks" 04:17 GA: "just by being honest!" 04:18 GG: "It. May. Very. Well. Suck... I. Never. Could. Truly. Help. Miss. Aaisha. Either. Before. The. Events. Of. The. Game..." 04:18 GA: "oh dang" 04:18 GA: "whatd she want help with" 04:19 GG: "She. Never. Truly. Said. But. She. Needed. Help. In. Confidence... In. How. To. Accept. Who. She. Is..." 04:19 GA: "...a gaudy shade of red?" 04:20 GG: Serios glares at Limekid... 04:20 GA: "what? i barely even remember who she is, man" 04:20 GA: "its been, like, a *day*." 04:20 GA: "for, me, that's..." 04:20 GA: "uhhhh" 04:20 GA: "like a lot of mental time" 04:21 GA: "i was gonna pull out like an exact number but then i realized i dont care" 04:21 GG: "....I. Will. Accept. This... But. Do. Try. To. Be. Respectful. Of. Others...." 04:21 GA: "yeah, see! now youve got that good advice" 04:22 GA: "you just needed some warming up!" 04:23 GG: "Telling. Advice. In. General. Is. Usually. Not. The. Hard. Part. Though..." 04:23 GA: "its getting people to listen?" 04:23 GG: "Precisely. Straight. To. The. Point." 04:23 GA: "i totally understand. one time, i had to turn this yellow dude into a phone just because he was an idiot." 04:23 GA: "he consented, it wasn't, like, cruel." 04:23 GA: "it was his only option." 04:24 GG: "How. Does. One. Limit. Their. Options. To. Being. A Phone?" 04:24 GA: They shake their head. "a very specific and ridiculous set of bad choices." 04:24 GG: "It. Would. Have. To.. Be..." 04:25 GA: "i used to give out advice a lot but nobody ever listened because i damaged my own reputation by being vaguely kind of dumb sometimes" 04:25 GA: "i was always right." 04:26 GA: "i guess the moral of the story here is that you should always choose to become a dragon instead of anything else because you might end up becoming a phone." 04:27 GG: "Or. Perhaps. The. Moral. Is. To. Listen. To. The. Advise. Of. Fools. For. They. Have. Much. Insight. On. Foolishness... No. Offense. Meant. Of. Course. In. Refering. To. You. As. Foolish." 04:27 GA: "alright" 04:27 GA: "i mean" 04:27 GA: "you cant just say a rude thing and then say 'no offense' and expect it to be ok" 04:28 GG: "I. Suppose. So... I. Do. Apologise... But. I. Felt. The. Poetic. Essense. Would. Be. Lost. If. Stated. Otherwise..." 04:29 GA: "yeah thats fair" 04:29 GA: "you could have said, like, the 'jester' or something with less negative connotations" 04:29 GA: "although jesterishness isnt a word" 04:29 GG: "Indeed. Not..." 04:30 GA: "anyway whats uh, do you have any plans, for like... lands?" 04:31 GA: "i dont want to rhyme but i feel like they arent big enough to classify as planets" 04:31 GA: "maybe dwarf planets" 04:32 GG: "Well. After. Seeing. Miss. Libby. I. Was. Planning. On. Talking. To. Mr. Moirai. Or. Miss. Lorcan. For. Either. Of. Them. To. Get. Moving. On. Their. Respective. Lands." 04:32 GA: "yo nice. if anyone needs a vaguely helpful guide i am SO here" 04:32 GA: "you should take libby out on a date!" 04:34 GG: "I. Would. If. There. Was. Time. But. I. Think. I. Have. Meandered. A. Bit. Too. Much. To. Do. That. Right. Now... Though. My. Dead. Self. Is. Always. In. The. Archives. For. That. Option." 04:34 GA: "you fool!" 04:34 GA: "you're taking her for granted!" 04:35 GA: "if you dont make time now, what happens when you're both old!" 04:36 GG: "....Do. You. Mean. Physically. Or Mentally? Because. I. Do. Not. Think. The. Other. Can. Happen. To. Her. And. Mentally. She. Already. Is. Rather. Much. Beyond. Me. In. Sweeps..." 04:37 GA: "oh shit fuckin cougar" 04:37 GG: "....What?" 04:37 GA: "hey i mean no judgement but theres a reason i aint datin none of yall and its because im like a million and yall like 5" 04:38 GG: "Seven and a half... Well. Closer. To. Eight. Now. I. Think." 04:38 GA: "well actually yeah thats a reasonable matchup" 04:39 GA: "in terms of like... physical age, i guess" 04:40 GA: "anyway im jus sayin" 04:40 GA: "pasta dinner?" They do that italian chef 'mwah' thing for good food. 04:41 GG: "Pasta?" 04:41 GA: "oh what" 04:41 GA: "come on dude" 04:41 GA: "its *pasta* 04:41 GA: "like i get that CERTAIN PEOPLE don't like pasta, and that's very okay," 04:41 GA: "maybe raviolis?" 04:42 GG: "You. Are. Naming. Things. I. Guess. Are. Foods?" 04:42 GA: "yeah" 04:43 GA: "oh right you're a troll or whatever" 04:43 GA: "im sure you have some weirdly named analogue" 04:43 GA: "ok ok hold on" 04:43 GA: "ill be RIGHT back" 04:43 GG: "Perhaps. So... Wait. Weirdly. Named? What. Is. Wrong. With. The. Way. We. Name. Things?" 04:43 GA: "with some fuckin'" 04:43 GA: "lady and the tramp shit" 04:44 GA: They exit, and run back in with a fancy rolling table with, like, one of those silver bowl things that food is served under that keeps it hot. 04:44 GA: "honestly i just made the food from her food maker thing" 04:44 GA: "but these are my FANCY silverware bits" 04:44 GA: "you gotta TREAT HER GOOD" 04:45 GG: "I. Always. Try. To... Thank. You..." 04:45 GA: "we got spaghetti, but like, really good spaghetti," 04:46 GA: "umm. wine. does she like wine? im just gonna assume i got her whatever she likes." 04:46 GA: "i didnt know what you like so i got you some butterbeer" 04:46 GA: "this is actually the exact dish of spaghetti from lady and the tramp the movie" 04:46 GA: "you guys eat this apaghetti and you WILL kiss" 04:47 GG: "Not. Certain. What. That. Is... I. Normally. Just. Imbide. Tea... And. This. Is. A. Most. Intriguing. Meal. If. It. Guarantees. That. Upon. Eating..." 04:47 GA: "it is literally a universal constant" 04:48 GA: "i have been inside the code of sburb and i can tell you for a fact that spagetti or some sort of spaghetti analogue always appears and it ALWAYS causes kisses somewhere in every universe" 04:48 GA: "i may or may not be making this up" 04:48 GA: "i mean, i've been inside the code and all" 04:49 GA: "but im leaving that part open as a joke in case we eventually meet like a specific type of alien that doesnt kiss or whatever" 04:49 GA: "or just any culture where kissing isnt acceptable, really" 04:49 GA: "since there are a lot of them" 04:49 GG: "...Could. Never. Grasp. The. Idea. Of. Making. Things. Up. But. I. Will. Put. My. Faith. In. The. Spaghetti." 04:49 GA: "what" 04:49 GA: "like" 04:49 GA: "thinking?" 04:50 GG: "Thinking. Is. Not. Making. Things. Up... It. Is. Analyzing. What. We. Perceive." 04:50 GA: "ok but like" 04:50 GA: "so" 04:50 GA: "last week i was in a theater" 04:50 GA: "it was big, and kinda dark" 04:50 GA: "fancy, though" 04:51 GA: "do you see it in your mind?" 04:51 GG: "I. Understand. What. A. Theater. Is..." 04:51 GA: "but are you picturing this fancy theather with me inside of it?" 04:51 GG: "....I. Suppose..." 04:51 GA: "WELL JOKES ON YOU I AINT BEEN TO A THEATER" 04:52 GA: "YOU MADE THAT ONE UPPP" 04:52 GA: "CHECKMATE" 04:52 GG: "....So. You. Just. Lied. Just Now?" 04:52 GA: "uh" 04:52 GA: "i mean yeah if you wanna be dramatic about it?" 04:53 GA: "like, i guess a joke is just a lie if you think about it" 04:53 GA: "that doesnt mean ive committed some sort of moral crime" 04:53 GG: "....No. Wonder. I. Have. Never. Understood. Jokes..." 04:53 GA: "try it" 04:53 GG: ".....You. Are... Red?" 04:54 GA: "pfffft" 04:54 GA: "ehehehehe" 04:54 GG: "....I. Still. Do. Not. Get. It." 04:54 GA: "well yeah the statement itself wasn't funny at all" 04:54 GA: "it was just funny because you said something *unfunny*" 04:55 GG: "....Is. That. Not. Paradoxal?" 04:55 GA: "its very nuanced" 04:55 GA: "ok ok try a simpler joke" 04:55 GA: "a more straightforward one" 04:55 GA: "a knockknock joke!" 04:55 GG: "This. Again? And. Will. Not. The. Food. Get. Cold?" 04:55 GA: "its in a special dome!" 04:56 GA: "it wont get cold!" 04:56 GA: "ok, listen, libby will be BLOWN AWAY if you say a joke" 04:56 GG: "Very. Well.... Wait. Was. That. A. Joke?" 04:56 GA: "no, it was the truth" 04:56 GA: "anyway" 04:56 GG: "Right..." 04:56 GA: "just like" 04:56 GA: "ok" 04:56 GA: "i got a really good one" 04:56 GA: "very harmless, nobody's feelings will be hurt" 04:56 GA: "i try to make sure my jokes are nice like that" 04:56 GA: "so" 04:57 GG: "Certainly. Better. Than. Some...." 04:57 GA: "you say, 'oof. boy. the. archives. sure. are. nice. but. i. gotta. say. the. bathrooms. really. smell. like. updog.' 04:57 GA: "and then she's like, 'huh? what's updog?'" 04:58 GA: "and then you say, 'not much, what's up with you! hahahahaha'" 04:58 GG: "....Yes. You. Have. Done. This. 'Updog'. Thing. Before..." 04:58 GA: "the joke is that you're doing a little goof and getting her to say 'what's up, dog?', a common informal greeting, without her realizing it. its a very clever sort of wordplay." 04:58 GA: "yeah, well, im sure she's never heard it in her bazillion years. i certainly dont remember trying it on her!" 04:59 GA: "youre very nice serios, but sometimes people want to talk to someone with a sense of humor! show her you're a multifaceted weird bug creature thing!" 04:59 GG: "But. Clearly. I. Do. Not. Have. That. Sense. Of. Humor..." 05:00 GA: "if you make a joke once a year it will be enough" 05:00 GA: "youll have a WHOLE YEAR to prepare!" 05:00 GA: "or uh" 05:00 GA: "once a sweep or whatever" 05:01 GG: "...Well. I. Do. Indeed. That. That. Time..." 05:02 GA: "now im actually confused, because im not sure if im being your wingman or her wingman here." 05:03 GA: "so im just gonna send you in before i have to make some difficult choices" 05:03 GA: "wingman choices" 05:03 GA: "do i go to the bachelor party? or the bachelorette party? fucking shit" 05:03 GG: "You. Do. Not. Have. Wings. Though." 05:03 GA: "guess again" 05:03 GA: They sprout purple wings! 05:03 GA: They can shapeshift! 05:04 GA: wait 05:04 GA: They transform into ARBITRIX MODE and also get wings the magical girl way! 05:04 GA: NOW THEY HAVE FOUR WINGS. 05:04 GA: "im the arbiter of redundancy!" 05:04 GG: "I. Stand. Again. Corrected...." 05:04 GA: "now go get her champ unless there's another thing you wanna talk about" 05:05 GA: "honestly i gotta pee so im feeling maybe one more topic before i split out of sheer necessity" 05:05 GA: "unless i... shapeshifted a toilet" 05:06 GA: "do you think that works?" 05:06 GG: "I. Do. Not. Think. So.... And. Nothing. Else. Comes. To. Mind... Though. I. Wonder. If. You. Are. Fine. With. This... You. Did. Come. To. Me. For. Advice. And. Instead. Have. Given. Far. More. Advice. To. Me..." 05:07 GA: "oh i just came here because i was bored" 05:07 GG: "Fair. Enough..." 05:07 GA: "w-we're friends, right? we can just talk?" 05:07 GG: "....I. Suppose. So..." 05:08 GA: They whisper something that sounds a lot like 'hell yea' under their breath. 05:08 GA: do they breathe 05:08 GA: irrelevant 05:09 GA: "alright get-get, g-get out of my site, champion." 05:10 GA: "fuck" 05:10 GA: "sight" 05:10 GG: "Yes. You. Said. That..." 05:10 GA: "yeah yeah we all get the joke here" 05:11 GA: "fuckin" 05:11 GA: "showing it off" 05:11 GA: "bitch" 05:11 GA: "im joking again. i dont mean to use foul language." 05:11 GA: "you're a good boy. good luck." 05:11 GG: "Not. Certain. I. Understand. The. Joke. But. Thank. You... Good. Luck. To. You. As. Well..." 05:12 GA: Limekid gives them two thumbs up and air-skateboards away so as to not hit their skateboard against any physical objects and ruin the exit to the library. 05:12 GG: Serios takes the covered dish with him as he goes off to see Libby.... Category:Serios Category:Limekid